Shabbat Misunderstood

By Eman Chayim In an age of questioning, it’s natural to challenge fundamental truths, even those found in the Torah. Long before our skeptical generation, our sages encouraged deep inquiry, recognizing that true understanding comes through questioning. However, a genuine truth-seeker must seek accurate explanations rather than using doubt as an excuse for non-observance. Two Common Questions About Shabbat Many struggle with the restrictions of Shabbat, assuming they were designed for a primitive society without modern technology. If Shabbat is about rest, why does it prohibit effortless acts like flipping a switch or lighting a flame? In ancient times, creating fire required physical exertion, but today it takes only a fraction of a second. Why, then, is it still forbidden? Additionally, if God is infinite and all-powerful, how can the Torah say He “rested” on the seventh day? Wouldn’t that imply exhaustion, contradicting the idea of an omnipotent Creator? The Meaning of “Rest” in Shabbat The confusion arises from a flawed translation. In English, “rest” implies recovery from exertion. The Hebrew word shav, however, means to hold back or refrain. When the Torah says God “rested,” it doesn’t mean He was tired, but that He ceased creating. The Torah describes Shabbat as a day when God stopped the act of creation, and we are commanded to do the same. Thus, Shabbat is not about avoiding physical effort but refraining from creative work (melachah). What Is “Work” on Shabbat? The Hebrew word melachah refers not to laborious tasks but to acts of creation and control over the physical world. This explains why strenuous activity, like moving furniture, is permitted, while striking a match or using electricity is forbidden—because they involve creating something new. This distinction deepens our understanding of Shabbat’s purpose. It is not about physical relaxation but about stepping back from manipulating the world, mirroring God’s cessation of creation. Shabbat as a State of Mind Throughout the week, we act as if we control our world—building, shaping, and innovating. On Shabbat, we pause and acknowledge that the world ultimately belongs to God. By refraining from creative work, we free ourselves from daily distractions and reconnect with our families, our inner selves, and our Creator. Shabbat is not just a ritual but a transformative experience, allowing us to shift our focus from material pursuits to spiritual elevation. If embraced properly, it becomes more than a day of restrictions—it becomes a day of freedom, connection, and ultimate joy.

Persian Jews: Stop Worshipping the Torah—Start Learning It!

By Eman Chayim The Persian Jewish community is known for its deep respect for Torah and traditional values. In Iran, Jewish identity was reinforced by external factors—Muslim neighbors wouldn’t marry us even if we wanted them to, and Jewish life was preserved by default. Our grandparents followed religious leaders without question, embracing Torah as an unquestionable truth. This unwavering reverence extended into the next generation, with parents kissing their siddurim, placing their kippot on their heads with pride, and tearing up at the sight of the Torah being removed from the Ark. But here’s the problem: Respect for Torah does not equal knowledge of Torah. Hypocrisy in Jewish Education For all the outward devotion to Torah scrolls and religious symbols, many Persian Jewish parents are hostile to the idea of their children actually studying Torah. A young Persian Jew who expresses interest in learning in a Yeshiva or attending an Israel-based Jewish learning program is often met with resistance, skepticism, or outright discouragement. Yet, these same parents have no problem spending tens of thousands of dollars sending their children to elite universities, where they are often exposed to atheistic and anti-Jewish philosophies. Parents take pride in their children earning degrees in law, medicine, or business, but suddenly become resistant when their child wants to engage in deep Jewish learning. Why? Because they fear their child will become “too religious.” This contradiction is staggering. If Torah is truly sacred, why are we afraid of our children understanding it? Do we revere the Torah as a holy relic to be kissed, paraded around the synagogue, and bid on during aliyot, or do we see it as a living, breathing guide for life? The Cost of Superficial Judaism When Jewish education is neglected, children fail to grasp the meaning behind our traditions. A family may host Shabbat dinners and observe certain dietary restrictions, but without understanding why they do so, their children are more likely to drift away from Judaism entirely. This is why assimilation and intermarriage have skyrocketed in Western Jewish communities. Many Persian Jewish parents are devastated when their children marry non-Jews, yet they never provided them with a strong enough foundation to understand why Jewish continuity matters. How can we expect them to hold onto something they were never truly taught? Parents cannot be shocked when their children reject Judaism if they themselves placed cultural tradition above actual learning and personal connection. If we do not instill a deep, meaningful understanding of Jewish values, assimilation is inevitable. The Old Model Doesn’t Work Anymore Unlike in Iran, where Jewish life was largely preserved by its insular nature, today’s society offers endless opportunities for integration and assimilation. The old “just follow the leader” approach to Judaism doesn’t work in a generation that questions everything. If Judaism is to survive in the Persian Jewish community, we need to stop fearing Jewish education and start embracing it. Our generation demands rational, meaningful answers to fundamental questions: Is the Torah true beyond a reasonable doubt? Why is marrying Jewish so important? What does it actually mean to be Jewish? If we don’t seek these answers for ourselves and our children, the consequences will be severe. Just look at European Jewry—where assimilation has wiped out Jewish identity for many. Will Persian Jews be next? Time to Face the Truth If we truly value our heritage, we must stop treating Torah like a family heirloom—precious but unused—and start engaging with it as a source of wisdom and guidance. If we believe that Judaism is central to who we are, we must stop discouraging Jewish learning and start prioritizing it. We need to decide: Are we Persian-Americans who happen to be Jewish, or are we Jewish Persian-Americans? The future of our community depends on the answer.

Breaking Free from Labels: Finding Identity Without Division

By Eman Chayim Our generation struggles with an identity crisis—not because we lack identity, but because we resist labels while constantly labeling others. Unlike past generations, where external forces often reinforced Jewish identity, today’s open society allows us to define ourselves. However, in our search for meaning, we often shift focus from self-discovery to categorizing others, creating unnecessary divisions. The Danger of Labels Labels like Modern Orthodox, Yeshivish, Chassidish, Carlebachian, Religious Zionist, Traditional, Chabad, or Secular attempt to describe religious affiliation, but they often serve as barriers rather than meaningful identifiers. These classifications, while useful in certain contexts, can foster judgment and exclusion. We see this labeling everywhere: A man in a knitted kippah is dismissed as “not serious enough.” A black-hat wearer is assumed to be “too rigid” or “ultra-Orthodox.” Someone who blends into secular culture is labeled as “not religious.” Each time we place someone in a category, we risk distancing ourselves from them. Instead of seeing a fellow Jew, we see a stereotype. An Open Society: A Challenge and an Opportunity In the past, Jewish identity was often reinforced by external forces. In Eastern Europe, a Jew could not forget his heritage—his Christian or Muslim neighbor would remind him, often through discrimination. Marrying outside the faith was virtually impossible. Today, we live in an era where interfaith relationships are accepted, and religious boundaries are increasingly blurred. Without external pressures, the responsibility of maintaining Jewish identity falls entirely on the individual. This means we must actively define what Judaism means to us. Is Judaism merely about eating matzah on Passover and attending the occasional family gathering? Or is it a vibrant, meaningful way of life that permeates every aspect of our existence? If we don’t answer these questions for ourselves, the world around us will decide for us. The Paradox of Religious Pride Many who embark on a journey to strengthen their Jewish identity find great meaning in it. However, a common mistake occurs when people assume their approach is the only correct one. They proudly embrace their chosen path—whether it be Yeshivish, Chassidish, Modern Orthodox, or something in between—but then look down on others who connect to Torah differently. Instead of unity, we create division: A newly observant Jew criticizes his family for not keeping Shabbat “properly.” A Yeshiva student dismisses a Modern Orthodox Jew as being “too lenient.” A Chassid questions the sincerity of someone who doesn’t follow their customs. This cycle of judgment distances us from each other, making our spiritual growth a source of conflict rather than connection. The Jewish People: A Unified Body The Jewish nation is often compared to the human body—each part serves a unique and essential function. Some Jews are the hands, engaged in action and service. Others are the feet, driving forward motion and progress. Some are the mind, providing leadership and learning. And yes, some may feel like the earlobes—seemingly passive, yet still necessary for the body’s completeness. Instead of looking down on those who seem less observant or different, we must recognize that every Jew has a role in the nation of Israel. No one is “useless” or undeserving of respect. Shifting the Focus If we focus on ourselves—on strengthening our own relationship with Torah and Hashem—we will have no time to judge others. Judaism was never meant to be about fitting into a category; it is about living a meaningful and purpose-driven life. Let us break free from the limitations of labels. Instead of using them to divide, let’s focus on what unites us. In doing so, we can build a stronger, more connected Jewish people—one that embraces diversity while remaining rooted in our shared heritage.

A Balanced Approach towards “Being Religious”

By Eman Chayim Experiencing a spiritual awakening can be transformative, but integrating newfound religious commitment into daily life comes with challenges. Many who embrace a Torah lifestyle find themselves labeled as “too religious,” facing resistance from their environment. The key is to ensure that religious growth is balanced, sustainable, and aligned with true Torah values. But, Can You Be Too Religious? Yes!—when religiosity becomes destructive to oneself or others. This happens in two ways: Spiritual Overload: Taking on too much, too fast, without proper preparation can lead to burnout. Like a beginner attempting to lift excessive weight, a person who adopts too many observances at once risks losing it all. The Israelites in the desert took 40 years to fully integrate Torah into their lives—growth must be gradual. Alienation of Others: Enthusiasm can sometimes lead to imposing religious observance on family and friends, causing resentment. True Torah observance fosters peace and respect, not division. A person should be mindful of how their new practices impact relationships, prioritizing mitzvot that bring people together, such as honoring parents and promoting harmony. Striking the Right Balance A religious journey must be guided by wisdom and self-awareness. A newly observant person should: Pace their growth – Spiritual elevation should be steady and meaningful, not overwhelming. Consider family and friends – Torah is about peace; observance should enhance, not strain, relationships. Avoid excessive stringencies – Stricter is not always better. Our sages caution that imposing unnecessary burdens on oneself can be foolish. Seeking Proper Guidance To navigate religious growth effectively, one must have a knowledgeable and experienced mentor who can: ✔ Prevent overexertion in mitzvot ✔ Encourage a respectful approach toward others ✔ Guide against misplaced stringency Torah is meant to enhance life, as King Solomon teaches: “Its ways are pleasantness, and all its paths are peace” (Proverbs 3:18). By growing with balance and wisdom, we can serve as positive examples, drawing others closer to the beauty of Judaism rather than pushing them away.

Mindful Eating Tips for Your Body and Soul

By Eman Chayim The average person spends at least one hour a day eating. So by the age of 30, you’ve spent the equivalent of two years just putting food in your mouth. How can we make this a more pleasurable, productive and meaningful experience? Traditional Jewish thought has much to say about what we eat, how we eat, when we eat, and even why we eat, and much of it is backed up by modern science. Eat hungry When was the last time you pulled over at a gas station to fill up your tank that was already full? When was the last time you ate something when you weren’t hungry? Checking your hunger gauge before popping in that random bite will allow you to keep your weight in check as well as build your self-control. Going to your second event of the evening, already fed, and still have an urge to pop down some more food? Like the modern day nutritionist, King Solomon also advises against the unnecessary consumption of food, saying “The righteous eat to satisfy their souls” (Proverbs 13:25). Sit down Late to work? Running after the kids? Doing errands? No problem – it’s just not the best time to be chomping down your meal. Although it may save time, it’s a bad idea. The Rambam, in his magnum opus Mishneh Torah , says that one should never stand or walk while eating. Modern day scientific research also claims that this kind of eating is fattening and unhealthy. In fact, there is even a diet based on this understanding, called The Sit-Down Diet, which suggests that we consume fewer calories when we eat sitting down versus while standing up or walking. We are also more likely to digest food better when we sit down and chew our food properly. Acknowledge You’re hungry and sitting down to your meal, now recognize where the food comes from. Taking three seconds to acknowledge basic details of the culinary dish placed before you can set the tone for rest of the meal. Something as simple as acknowledging the work of the cook, especially if it is a parent or spouse, can have a profound effect on your mood. Notice all of the individual ingredients. Every time food is consumed, one should recite a blessing of recognition prior to taking the first bite. A common misconception is that the blessing or bracha that is said before eating is a form of thanksgiving. This is not accurate; the after-blessing of Birkat Hamazon clearly mentions the act of thanksgiving. The initial blessing is a statement acknowledging that God is the Creator of the food and you are essentially seeking permission to take His food. Remove Distractions One cannot fully enjoy a meal while answering emails or scrolling through his Facebook feed? Judaism incorporates the pleasure of eating in every one of its holidays. But we rob ourselves of this enjoyment every time we mindlessly eat. Don’t care about enjoyment? Distracted eating causes your digestion to be less effective in breaking down your food, leading to less flavor and increasing the possibility of bloating, gas and constipation. Trying to lose weight? Research shows that the more you distract yourself during a meal, the more pounds you add. Doing simple acts of mindfulness, such as paying attention to the smell, taste, appearance and texture of the food, can keep the focus on your meal. Chew, Swallow, Wait… Repeat Ever mindlessly wolf down a meal in one minute? Scarfing down an entire meal can leave you feeling disheartened but it can also leave you with unwanted extra fat on your hips. Taking your body off of auto-pilot mode while eating has great spiritual benefits as well. In describing ways of going against animalistic eating habits, the great 19th century Iraqi sage Rabbi Yosef Hayim in his famous book, Ben Ish Hai , gives a recommendation that is sure to slow your scarf. He writes that one should not reach for the next bite until the previous has been completely swallowed. Speaking from experience this one tip is much easier said than done. However, once mastered, this eating habit is one that is sure to leaving you feeling in control and elevated. Especially if you take it to the next level and put down your utensil between bites. Appreciate Now that you’re satiated and your spirit is recharged, it’s time for some thanksgiving (without the turkey). Saying thanks is much harder when you have somewhere else you want to go. Maybe that’s why the only biblically ordained blessing is the Grace After Meals and not before the meal. Being appreciative is a core Jewish value. In fact, Jews are called Yehudim from the word L’hodot, or to thank. Gratitude permeates the entire Jewish experience, from the first words that are uttered by our lips when we wake up in the morning, to mentioning our thanks three times a day in our prayers. Surprisingly, recently discovered side benefits of being filled with gratitude include improved health, increased self-esteem and even better sleep. Taking the extra minutes to appreciate our privileged satiated stomachs should now seem much easier.

The Wedding: A Celebration for the Couple, Not the Guests

By Eman Chayim Refocusing on the Couple’s Joy Weddings should be about celebrating the bride and groom, yet too often, the focus shifts to pleasing the guests. Concerns about seating arrangements, invitations, and social expectations overshadow the true purpose of the event. The time and expense invested in impressing attendees often come at the expense of the couple’s joy and financial well-being. The Mitzvah of Bringing Happiness In Jewish tradition, we have a mitzvah to bring happiness to the bride and groom. This principle is embraced in many religious communities, where volunteers even attend weddings to ensure the couple feels truly celebrated. If strangers can make this effort, how much more so should we? The Burden of Extravagance Yet, we frequently see guests prioritizing their own experience—complaining about seating, comparing food, or feeling slighted by an invitation oversight. This mindset fuels the pressure for extravagant weddings, sometimes forcing couples into unnecessary debt just to meet societal expectations. No newlywed should begin their marriage burdened by financial strain simply to satisfy others. Intentions Matter More Than Appearances This is not about banning elaborate weddings; rather, it’s about intentions. If a couple genuinely desires a grand celebration and can afford it, they should enjoy it. But if they feel pressured into excess for the sake of appearances, they must learn to stand firm. The older generation may be deeply entrenched in status-driven values, but it is up to us to shift the culture. Guests and Their Expectations Guests, too, should reflect on their expectations. If we are not invited, is our disappointment rooted in genuine love for the couple or in wounded pride? If we truly care for them, we should respect their decisions and find joy in their happiness. A Wedding’s True Purpose Ultimately, our role as a community is to support and celebrate the couple, not demand recognition or indulgence. Whether the wedding is lavish or simple, whether we are seated at the front or not at all, our responsibility remains the same—to bring joy to the bride and groom. As our sages teach: Pride and jealousy remove a person from this world (Pirkei Avot). In the context of weddings, these traits distort the event’s true purpose. Instead of turning a wedding into a spectacle for guests, let’s ensure that it remains what it was meant to be—a celebration of love, unity, and the beginning of a shared journey.

The Pursuit of Pleasure in Dating

By Eman Chayim It is no secret that many in our community, driven by status and social validation, approach dating with a focus on superficial qualities—wealth, looks, and prestige—rather than deeper, more meaningful connections. While striving for a fulfilling relationship is natural, we must examine whether our priorities are aligned with genuine love or fleeting pleasures. Understanding the Levels of Pleasure Rabbi Noah Weinberg teaches that pleasure exists on a hierarchy, with physical and material enjoyment—such as wealth, beauty, and luxury—being the lowest. While these are appealing, they pale in comparison to higher levels of pleasure, such as love and emotional connection. The Problem: Superficial Expectations Too many relationships are dictated by shallow demands. We’ve all heard stories of potential matches being rejected over minor physical traits or insufficient wealth. This fixation leads to an endless, often fruitless, search for an unrealistic ideal. A Higher Perspective: The Power of Love True love transcends materialism. Rambam (Maimonides) defines love as the emotional pleasure derived from appreciating another’s virtues. A meaningful relationship requires effort, compromise, and shared values—not perfection. As Rabbi Weinberg states: “The idea that love ‘just happens’ is a lie—a beautiful, romantic, extremely popular, but false notion. Real love requires careful evaluation of whether this person’s goals, values, and lifestyle truly align with yours.” If we dismiss potential partners over trivial concerns, we risk missing out on a deeper, lasting connection. Reevaluating Priorities in Dating Of course, attraction and financial stability matter, but they should not overshadow emotional compatibility and shared values. As the Mishnah (Pirkei Avot 5:19) teaches: “Love that depends on external factors fades when those factors disappear, but love that is unconditional endures.” Rambam expands on this, emphasizing that relationships built on mutual respect and genuine care—not wealth or beauty—are the ones that last. A Shift in Mindset If we continue placing wealth and appearance above all else, perhaps we should fully embrace the absurdity—requiring plastic surgery before marriage or demanding bank statements with a match proposal. Or, we can choose to rise above societal pressures and build relationships based on real, enduring connection. The choice is ours.